Evil magic pants!!!

Every woman has their own insecurities after having children, some even way before there bundles of joys’s created kangaroo pouches for them 🙂

Everyone has that one piece of clothing that they love, but it just doesn’t fit how it used to anymore.. (no matter how much we jump around and dangle upside down off the bed.. No? That must be just me then.)

Nowadays we are promised quick fix solutions to this kind of problem… Pain free ones too may I add.

Hello Magic Pants!!!

Can you imagine the joy in my heart when I stumbled across you whilst buying the little man some new bits online (and maybe a few essentials for me too )

I just had to purchase you. I knew you could make my wardrobe complete and make me look so much more sophisticated.

I knew you would make me look like I had the best curves around.. Not some leftover podge that didn’t want to budge.

I had been informed previously that these little beauties can do wonders to your body, I couldn’t wait for you to arrive so I could test you for myself.

I opted for the all-in-one bodice.
Thinking of all the outfits I could start to wear, I got a little giddy with excitement.

Rushing upstairs to try you on, I stumbled at the first hurdle..
How were you supposed to hold me in if you weren’t prepared to go past my thighs without a major struggle?

After a good 5-10 minutes you gave in.. Even though I had slight friction marks, no one could deny it was 1 to me and 0 to you!!

As I continued to hop and shimmy across the bedroom, I slowly but surly managed to wiggle into you. mission complete…

On standing up I realised that I couldn’t breathe properly and felt way to constricted. How tight did you need to be??

As much as I loved seeing my figure all nice and Shapley I needed to get you off me ASAP.. I hadn’t purchase some magic underwear, I had purchased a boa constrictor in disguise.

Calling our for the big man in slow short breaths, he came to my rescue. Or so I thought…

Taking one look at me gasping for air and unable to stand up straight, he broke out into a fit of laughter.

Men can be so cruel at times…

Didn’t he realise that now was not the time for laughing? I would happily laugh later on, but right that second I wanted it off like yesterday!!!

Once his fit of giggles had subsided and he saw I was actually in pain, he came to help me out of new skin.

I loved learning about the Victorian times, but I wouldn’t have been able to cope in those corset and basks!! How on earth did they talk to each other or move?

We couldn’t get it off, we pulled and we tugged, all while my whole body felt like it was on fire. I was sure I was going to bruise 😦

All I wanted was to look a little less wobbly every now and again. I didn’t expect you to give me all this drama.

What did I ever do to you??

So I am guessing the moral of the story is, If you can’t get it past the thighs, leave it there as it most definitely won’t come off without a struggle.

I’m sure there are a lot of people out there, who like me often jump at the chance of a quick fix…

Who has there own magic pants? Did you suffer the same trauma as me or did I just buy a Dodgy pair??



Three Week Countdown…

I have three whole weeks remaining in order to locate a perfect dress for my Fairy God-motherly duties.

Please someone help me!!

My Weight-loss mission hasn’t gone to plan in the slightest. I still have a long way to go before I am 100% happy with my Post wobble, However I have been informed that a pair of spanx should do the trick nicely. 🙂

Me and the Spanx don’t seem to get on very well. Not that I haven’t tried my best. I mean I bought the lovely all in one thinking that it would at least help me out in the ‘you will look pretty in a dress wearing me’ department. I must have done something to seriously offend my lovely spanx as not only does it refuse to play nice at squeezing me into a lovely shape like its supposed to, they also seem to have taken major offence to my thighs and wont budge without a whole mission of tug of war.

I’m also a little unsure of what style to buy, I am thinking of purchasing a mid-length floaty summer dress, maybe with added detail at the top to draw attention away from my middle section. I aim to dedicate my weekend next week finding my perfect dress.

Once this little problem has been settled I then need to purchase some shoes and a clutch to match my dress, arrange to have my hair re-styled with some fresh highlights added as its (supposed to be) getting warmer, and finally a spray tan. All of this business doesn’t even include getting the big man and little man’s stuff sorted for the day either.

If this isn’t proof that a woman’s work is never complete then I don’t think I will ever know what is.

If anyone has any great ideas or the best places for these kind of dresses please feel free to let me know.

Xx ❤ xX